The road to college: Family ties guide MHS students through the application process

The path to apply to colleges at Mason High School (MHS) is not one-size-fits-all. For some students, it begins with sitting in front of a computer, researching and writing essays. For others, it may start at a much younger age as they listen to their older sibling stress out over their applications. Without older siblings to guide them or with a new application system to learn, first-generation college applicants face a very different experience. In the college application process, who you are matters, but so does who came before you. Birth order, siblings and background are only part of the puzzle in the college decisions, but they do shape the process for students at MHS.   

In the Lupinski household, lacrosse talk isn’t just dinner conversation; it’s a family legacy. Senior twins Tyler Lupinski and Jacob Lupinski are gearing up to play Division I lacrosse at Robert Morris University, with their younger sophomore sister Addie Lupinski eyeing a similar path.  

The path for recruitment has spanned Jacob and Tyler’s entire high school career. For the brothers, their biggest year was their sophomore year, when Tyler and Jacob played in 10 tournaments over the summer for their club lacrosse team.  

“[Our summer] was busy [and] long, but it was fun,” Tyler said. “It’s definitely nerve-wracking because 20 coaches were watching per game, but it’s really exciting because you get to play in front of everyone, and [we] were away for two months [over the summer].”

Tyler recounts that it definitely was a family effort in making sure that he and Jacob took the right steps during the recruitment process. His parents would work in their hotel rooms at night and spend the days taking Tyler and Jacob to their games.  

“It was a long time, but they never complained,” Tyler said. “They always loved it and embraced it, along with Jacob and me.”

With their dad being a collegiate athlete who swam at Penn State University, he was able to help Tyler and Jacob prepare their questions for coaches and reminded them to enjoy the process.  Senior Jacob Lupinski shares that already having gone through the process as a family makes it easier for Addie. 

“Our mom talked to a bunch of people before so that she knew what she was doing, and she helped us big time with reaching out and helping us set standards,” Jacob said. 

Being together in the process meant that the brothers could draft emails to coaches and work on highlight tapes. But the biggest day of the recruitment process was Sept. 1 of their junior year, when coaches could start actively recruiting. They started by individually texting both brothers, but within the first few messages, they would mention the other, indicating that they would like the brothers to be recruited together. Tyler shares how his family helped navigate that overwhelming day.  

“That night when you get a bunch of texts or emails from coaches, it’s like, where do I go from here, so Jacob and I talked to our mom about where to go, who to text [and] when to set up calls,” Tyler said. “My whole family just made it easier because they would calm us down [and] tell us to take it one step at a time.” 

Both Jacob and Tyler hope to see their younger sister Addie pursue college sports in the future. They don’t think there is any pressure to follow them, but Jacob shares that their parents have seen the success and fun of going through the process, so they encourage Addie to take lacrosse seriously and put her name out there.   

Jacob and Tyler have seen the difference in work ethic between their teammates who don’t play to get recruited and those who do. They have seen older teammates from their freshman and sophomore year seasons who joke around during practice and don’t take it as seriously since they are not going to play at the next level.  

“For me and him [Tyler], it has always been about sticking to what we do best and showing up every single day and making sure we are putting the work in,” Jacob said. “On our own, Tyler and I will go to the fields and do things to put ourselves in a good position this year so that going into college, we have more success.”   

Having seen how different work ethics progress throughout the high school year, Jacob and Tyler make sure to push Addie to work hard.  

“Tyler and I would go to the fields a lot and sometimes [Addie] shies away from that,” Jacob said. “So we push her to be better and better every day.”  

Addie finds that her chances of being recruited for a sport have been made easier because of her older brothers. They have helped not only in preparing for recruitment but also with her transition into high school.  She is grateful to have known 2 familiar faces in the crowds of MHS when she first came to the high school. 

“I know more people in the school and all their friends are nice to me,” Addie said, “Knowing that they’re always there for me is also really comforting.”

Addie plans to apply to Robert Morris University and reach out to the girls’ lacrosse coach. She also credits having her brothers by her side for making her a better lacrosse player, from taking practice seriously to creating a recruitment blueprint for her to follow. 

“I feel like everyone expects me to live up to my brother’s expectations, and I feel like I will go on the same path, but I just want my story to be my own,” Addie said. 

Without older siblings, Addie feels that her journey in lacrosse would be shaped differently, from her approach to practices to strategies for connecting to coaches. 

 “[Without them], I feel like I wouldn’t understand the game as well, and I wouldn’t understand how to do everything, because they have taught me everything,” Addie said. “If I end up going through the recruitment process, I know I can talk to them whenever I am concerned about what I am going through because they will understand.”

In June, senior Vini Ramos moved from Ribeirão Preto, Brazil, to Mason, Ohio. Relocating more than 3,000 miles away from home, Ramos learned that life plans can change quickly. 

When his father got a job offer in Ohio, Ramos’s family packed up and started over. For Ramos, this meant switching to a new school system for education.

“In Brazil, when you’re applying to a college, you have to do the Exame Nacional do Ensino Médio, and based on your score, you see if you’re going or not,” Ramos said.  “[In the United States, it’s more about the essay and [extracurricular]. So it’s kind of different.”

That difference has made the college application harder for Ramos. While most of his classmates have parents or siblings who can help them, Ramos is figuring it out on his own. Without parents or siblings with prior experience with college applications, Ramos is focusing on football and the social aspect of high school.

“My mom basically doesn’t know anything about college applications, and she doesn’t speak English,” Ramos said. “But my father has done a lot of research, so I can talk with him about things, and he helped me make a plan.” 

Navigating the college application process doesn’t get any easier. Ramos often leans on his school counselor when he needs help, but most of the time, he is doing his own research. He jokes that it’s not difficult, just boring with all the forms and transcripts to upload. 

Before moving, Ramos attended a Canadian school in Brazil, which helped prepare him for the American education.

 “We had a lot of classes about how to write essays and stuff,” Ramos said. ” I was basically doing two high schools, so it was harder, but I also had more credits. They helped me get the diploma for college.”

Outside of academics, football has helped him adjust to find new friends. Max Gogul has been a big influence on Ramos’s adjustment to America. Ramos often finds himself going to Birch for getting translations and understanding slang. Before moving to Mason, Ramos visited in May. When visiting schools in America, Ramos was told he had the right build for football, and it ended up helping him meet many new friends. 

 “Playing football has helped me find people,” Ramos said. “It made everything here easier.”

He has already visited colleges and dreams of attending the University of Chicago. Moving from Brazil to Ohio might have been a far stretch, but for Ramos, it’s a step toward something bigger. Between the essays, translations and football games, he’s learning not just how to apply to college, but how to build a life in a new world. 

“I really love it here,” Ramos said. “I’m in a new place, with new things, new friends, new people and a new culture.”

When college application season began, MHS senior Serena Zhang found herself not only navigating deadlines and essays, but explaining financial terms and college planning to her family. As the only child of immigrant parents, Zhang quickly became the guide for her family through a process that feels as foreign to them as it is familiar to her classmates.  

“My parents are immigrants and have never experienced [American college applications] before, so they don’t know a lot of things,” Zhang said. “It is stressful for everyone, but for me, it’s hard because I can’t call up [my family and say], ‘Hey, I need to bounce ideas off of you.’”

Unlike many of Zhang’s friends, she has found applying to college to be a solitary process. Without family guidance to lean on, she’s turned to online resources like College Essay Guy and CollegeVine to research schools and brainstorm supplemental topics. 

Even so, the preparation for applying has come with its share of misunderstandings at home. Zhang often finds herself explaining how the American college system goes from clarifying that she doesn’t need to write individual 650-word Common Application essays for each school to breaking down what a safety school is.  

As a prospective business major, Zhang included Indiana University as one of her safety schools, a decision that confused her dad. 

“In his mind, The Ohio State University was my only safety and then I just had to apply to other reach schools,” Zhang said. “He didn’t understand why I needed more than one safety school [on my college list].”

Without having family guidance, Zhang has had to build her own support network. She often reaches out to older family friends to look over her personal statement or asks underclassmen friends to review scholarship essays. Still, she sometimes wishes she had siblings or family members who already understood the college application process. 

“[In families with older] siblings, their parents know they have to do this and that the parents understand better,” Zhang said. “Especially with financial aid, I feel like they definitely know more than my parents.”  

The gap in understanding becomes especially clear when it comes to financial forms and paperwork. Zhang often finds herself explaining what needs to be submitted, what each document means and why deadlines matter. 

“I said, ‘We have to fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form, but you also have to fill out the College Scholarship Service (CSS) Profile,’ and they were like, ‘What’s the difference and why do I need to do both?’” Zhang said.

For Zhang, the process often feels like she is figuring things out entirely on her own. She can’t help but wonder how different applying to colleges would be if she had older siblings who had already gone through it, whom she could bounce ideas off and get editing help from. Still, Zhang recognizes that being an only child comes with its own kind of support. Even though her parents can’t always guide her through the process, she knows they are always there for her. 

“They’re always rooting for [me], because [I am] the only one they can root for and they put their sole focus and resources towards me,” Zhang said. “I do a lot of extracurriculars and [my parents] put a lot of time and their money into it, which I’m really thankful for.”