Oliver authors book about communication, connection

Sahaj Datta | The Chronicle

Own the moment. Build meaningful relationships. Our stories matter. Students at Mason High School (MHS) hear these phrases every day, but intervention specialist Hakim Oliver is taking the next step by writing Bridging Stories, a book about positive intergroup interactions and diversity.

Oliver said he has been hosting community conversations in Mason for the last several years, during which he talks to groups of people about creating ways to respect differences in such a diverse community as Mason. He said he regrets not starting these talks sooner, and he wishes he had focused more of his time on those community conversations earlier in his life.

“I had a thought, a nudge from the big guy above, to write a book,” Oliver said. “I was hesitant because I’m not a writer. But then I [thought], ‘you’re gonna regret it if you don’t do this.’”

Oliver said he was worried that his writing would not be good enough to publish in a book. He said he is the type of person who waits as long as possible before revealing his accomplishments to anyone, so he struggled to find someone to edit his book until he talked to MHS English teacher Beth Celenza.

“My biggest concern [was], ‘am I going to find someone who would believe in me?’” Oliver said. “She’s an English teacher. I’m not. Is she going to believe in me and come along with me on this journey? And she said yes right away, which is awesome.”

Oliver and Celenza both said that they have been long-time friends with similar ideologies. Celenza said that besides doing community conversations in Mason, Oliver also comes into her class to talk about different perspectives and cultures, which is something they have discussed on multiple occasions.

“We have lots of different cultures in Mason, so people make assumptions and stereotypes about other groups of people,” Celenza said. “So [our question was] how can we facilitate conversations in the classroom that help kids to better understand each other, and then how [can we] be good adults out in the world with all the cultures that we have? And so that’s actually how I got involved, and then as he started writing, he brought up the idea of putting his method for bridging these perspectives into writing, and he asked if I’d be interested in reading over his drafts. And then I became [his] editor.”

Celenza said that she is an extremely thorough editor, and while Oliver’s book is small, it has a lot of information. She and Oliver went through five rounds of editing, sitting together for the first few times so that she could ask Oliver questions about content. They also contacted a ghost editor, someone who did not personally know Oliver, so that the book could be read by an unbiased third party.

Celenza said that her close proximity to the writing process gave her the opportunity to appreciate Oliver’s insights. She said that something that stood out to her in his book was the concept of “wait-time”, which Oliver defines as being able to sit with new information from a different perspective and not pushing yourself to understand it immediately.

“Theme-wise, it’s about understanding how to listen respectfully to someone who has a different point of view than you do,” Celenza said. “I think particularly with race and ethnicity, and the various groups of students we have here, there’s so much importance in [understanding other perspectives]. So his method is a bridge for lots of conversations.”

Oliver said a lot of his beliefs about communication come from a major change in his childhood, when he moved from Los Angeles to Loveland. He said this shaped a lot of his ideals because when he first moved from the city to a much more conservative suburb, he realized that the main issue was not a racial difference, but rather the language barrier when discussing their experiences about living in different places. He said he was frustrated because people in Loveland had their own opinions about LA, and he wanted to understand why, which eventually led him to be inspired to pursue topics about perspective and understanding between communities.

“The most common hurdle that stops people is fear,” Oliver said. “That’s what I understand in life: that fear is stopping somebody from doing something. ‘Do I have thoughts or experiences that would contribute to society?’ And the fear was telling me, ‘No, you don’t.’ When I gave Ms. Celenza my first rough draft, she said the information is so insightful. And that motivated me.”

Oliver said that he wants to inspire people to be able to talk about their opinions and experiences in a way that helps others understand them. He said everyone has their own truths and that it is important for people to be able to communicate with an open mind.

“I talk about perspectives and building relationships and communication with zero guilt, zero shame,” Oliver said. “And that’s the hot topic now, people feeling guilty about other experiences. This is not what this is. Just build relationships, have a conversation.”